Tuesday, April 7th 2009
10 Secrets for A Successful Divorce in California
1. Go to marriage counseling.
Try marriage counseling again. Spouses had a reason for walking down the aisle together. (Generally because they were happy.) Give marriage counseling one last chance before starting down the path to divorce.
2. Talk to an attorney first.
It is very important that you talk to an attorney before doing anything else. Your lawyer will help you assess your situation and should educate you in the area of divorce law. It is important to have this knowledge before starting your case.
3. Then, talk to your spouse.
Once you have an idea of what will happen in your divorce, you are better able to talk with your spouse to try to work things out. Talking with your spouse about a divorce without knowing what the laws are or what generally will happen is like buying a car with no idea what the car is really worth: You are in no position to negotiate a deal.
4. Hire an attorney you are comfortable with.
It is extremely important that you hire an attorney with whom you are comfortable. Any good attorney you contact should not be offended if you contact a second or third attorney in order to investigate attorneys and your “comfort level.” Look around to the extent you deem it necessary. You may also want to read “10 Questions For Your Attorney,” available on our website.
5. Consider Mediation
Mediation is a process where the parties try to reach an agreement with each other through a neutral person. It has a very high success rate and allows spouses to reach an agreement without having a Judge dictate the terms. Discuss mediation with your attorney.
6. Involve a CPA
Tax consequences of your divorce can be either devastating or beneficial. Ask your lawyer to recommend a CPA or contact a CPA of your choice to ask about the tax consequences of any property division. (This can save you a tremendous amount of money!)
7. Help your Children
Divorce can be extremely difficult on children. Education yourself about how comments or actions by you can have a devastating effect on your children. You may also want to consider counseling for your children to help them adjust to the changes they are experiencing in their family.
8. Get your "QDRO" pre-approved
A QDRO (a Qualified Domestic Relations Order) is usually required to divide retirement benefits. Insist that your attorney submit the QDRO to the retirement plan administrator before the final order in your divorce, and you are potentially assuring that the QDRO will not have to be revised after the divorce is over.
9. Talk to Family and Friends
But not about legal issues. Talk with them about your feelings about your spouse, your feelings about your marriage, and your feelings about the future. Talk with them about your plans on the next step in your life after your divorce is final.
10. Be smart & be rational!
Going through a divorce is kind of like going through a temporary state of insanity. It is only a matter of degree. As King Solomon once said: “This too shall pass.”
View other articles for: Divorce and Separation